By: Lemar Boone
By now, I’m sure you’ve seen this tale unfold. Maybe you’ve seen one just like it. A Boy meets a girl and they fall in love…the charming ex then swoops back in the girl’s life, she misses that old feeling they shared, and eventually goes back to aforementioned ex. Yes, we’ve seen it 100 different times in 100 different variations (fellas & ladies we’re no different) but know that it all ends the same way, with one (or more) person ending up feeling like they got played. Unfortunately, in this age of social media, this story will pass by millions of eyes and ears and will be commented upon, meme’d and joked about ad naseum (or at least until the next memeable story finds its way onto our timelines). The Kehlani/Kyrie/PARTYNEXTDOOR story is sad, messy, and VERY awkward, but it really says something interesting about social media’s involvement in our relationships.
On My Playlist: Kehlani
Let’s take a step back. Like many of us, Kehlani, Grammy nominated singer/songwriter is no stranger to her instagram page…she enjoys documenting her life and there’s no better time for memories than at the beginning of a rise to super stardom. So it only makes sense that she would want to capture and share all of these special moments, with special people like her man Cleveland Cavalier’s point guard, Kyrie Irving, and display the love that they’ve come to share with each other. Many of these posts were long and heartfelt, full of love and sincerity…But now they’re nowhere to be found. In fact, if you type in Kehlani’s name into instagram this very moment you wouldn’t see anything. Why?
It was deleted after this post hit Instagram yesterday. Sure, this isn’t the greatest of situations, OVO crooner PARTYNEXTDOOR and Kehlani VERY close, watching “Dope”, with the slight shot in the caption simplifying their entire relationship as mere “shenanigans”. However, as I mentioned previously, it’s a story so many of us have heard before…
For me, the crazy part of this situation came in the form of the millions of reactions, pictures, jokes, old tweets, etc. that appeared immediately after the post. For 6 to 8 hours yesterday my timeline was filled with a bunch of people making comments, sharing advice, laughing, and lauding either side. Few were in good taste. Some blamed PARTYNEXTDOOR for being petty, other’s blamed Kehlani for being disloyal. Many clowned Kyrie for getting caught up in all of this. But the truth is, it doesn’t matter who is right or wrong in this situation because NONE of us know the full story. And here lies the problem that can arise with posting that special someone.
As soon as that first WCW or MCM post goes up, your “special someone” becomes the subject of public scrutiny. People are naturally curious, and social media culture emphasizes this rather “nosy” mindset; it makes sense that family, friends, & peers would want to find out more about this person. But as more people get involved with the relationship, there’s more room for drama. As a celebrity I can only imagine how tough it is to keep your private life private while still sharing special moments. And how the thousands of opinions of strangers could eventually take a toll on one’s personal life.
Last night, Kehlani posted a picture from the hospital, stating that she’d attempted to take her own life. Unfortunately, this is sometimes the sad result of thousands of people making jokes and comments about a very serious situation. Although this may not have been the main reason for her actions, I’m sure spending an entire day with people calling her a “hoe” and a “thot” and posting shaming pictures did nothing to help the situation. This is one of the dangers of posting significant others on social media. Other people feel the liberty to say whatever they want, without regard of the people or the situation. The worst part of all of this is that people are continuing to make jokes throughout all of this. Let me be the first to say that SUICIDE ISN’T FUNNY, and even as a public figure, Kehlani, and PARTYNEXTDOOR and Kyrie Irving all deserve the same respect and humanity given to anyone else. Let me clarify, this is not me telling everyone to stop posting those cuddled up snapchats or to stop sharing those beautiful anniversary moments, I just believe that we should all be aware of the consequences when sharing our relationships on social media. Sharing anything really. If you’re not ready to face that type of scrutiny it can make things very difficult, especially early on. Basically, think before you post. I’d also like to repeat that no matter what events transpired yesterday, that SUICIDE IS NOT A JOKE, and I hope Kehlani can soon return to a happy place and continue doing what she loves.